I'm Sorry
by elziebean1000
Summary: It wasn't him. [spoilers for 3x16, canon divergence]
_A/N: So, this was essentially how I thought 3x16 would go down, and I'm SO glad it didn't._

* * *

Abby held the butt of the gun tighter in her hand, her fingers turning white from the strength of her grip. _He was here._ Silent tears traced down one cheek as she watched Marcus brawling with Bellamy, his face completely devoid of emotion and recognition as he fought the boy he had promised to protect, that _they_ had promised to protect.

She sank to a crouch on the dais and forced her eyes away from the pair, training the pistol on the rest of ALIE's forces, silently praying the others would overcome them and she wouldn't be forced to use it. She couldn't stop her hand from shaking.

"Come on, Clarke." She murmured, the words becoming lost in the din of the skirmish. She let her free hand move to her daughter's knee, allowing the contact to steady her, emotionally and physically, while the rest of the world crumbled around her.

A flurry of movement caught her eye. _Don't think_.

She pulled the trigger and watched the grounder crumple across the steps at her feet, what little was left of the spark of his humanity leaving his eyes as blood leaked from his forehead.

 _This is my fault_. The thought came unbidden, crashing into her mind and making her breath catch in her throat. _I should never have allowed it to get this far. I should have dealt with Thelonious sooner._

The sound of Bellamy's pained yell drew her eyes away from the man she had killed to see the boy sprawled across the floor, his hands grasping desperately at the ones that were closed around his neck. _Marcus's hands._

"No, no, _no_." The gun wavered in her hand as she watched Bellamy struggle, his face red and his terror displayed for all to see. _He'll kill him._ Abby choked back the tears that threatened to rise, and steadied her hand. _It's not him. He'll never forgive himself if he kills Bellamy._

"Marcus," the name drew his attention, though Abby saw nothing of the person it belonged to when he turned his head to look at her. The dark eyes that she had spent so much time looking into over the past few months were no longer filled with the adoration they normally held. They were empty. " _Please._ "

The pleading word had no effect on the man. There was no flash of recognition, no empathy. _Nothing._ His hands held tight to Bellamy's throat as the young man's struggles became weaker.

More of ALIE's 'flock' arrived, Thelonious and Jackson among them, yet Abby barely noticed them as they clashed with the rest of their small resistance. Her focus was stuck on the man she had come to know intimately in recent months, and yet was like a stranger to her now.

 _It's not him._

The report of the pistol seemed louder than the first and the gun felt heavier in her hand than ever before. He released Bellamy and turned to face her fully, a look a shock and pain written on his face.

"No…" Abby whispered, the pistol falling from her limp fingertips as screams of pain and anguish from around the room reached her ears.

She shakily tore her eyes away from Marcus and let her gaze sweep the room. _They felt pain._

Clarke had _won._

"Abby-" Marcus choked out, sinking slowly to the floor beside Bellamy, his hands absently reaching for her. Bellamy rolled to his feet and caught him before his head hit the floor, ignoring the pain in his ribs from the beating he had received just moments earlier.

"Hang on, Kane." He murmured, gently lowering him to the floor as Abby made her way across to them, anxiously glancing over her shoulder at Clarke while Murphy tended to removing the Flame.

Abby sank to her knees beside them, one shaking hand reaching to weave itself through Kane's hair of it's own volition, the other coming to rest across his chest, gripping at the soft fabric of his grey t-shirt.

"Hi." He smiled at her, a smile laced with relief, love, pain, and a thousand other emotions as he looked at her properly for what felt like the first time in years.

She brought her hand down to his cheek and finally allowed the tears to fall to her own. It was over, for now.

" _I'm sorry_." She breathed, repeating the words like a mantra as she leaned down to press her face against his neck, lips grazing across his weakening pulse. The touch of his hand on her back, comfortingly rubbing in slow circles, and the sound of two whispered words caused her defences to crumble completely and wracking sobs to shake her body.

The words were forced through lips wet with blood and Abby could hear the crackling in his lungs as he strained to breathe. The hand on his chest gripped tighter and the grey of the t-shirt beneath it darkened as blood seeped into its fibres.

" _I know_."


End file.
